Adventures of a (Second Time) Bride-to-Be
February 1, 2011
Working in technology, I use the Internet for almost everything. If it can’t be had from the Internet, I don’t need it. I am not sure how single moms functioned before the Internet existed, but I’m pretty sure I’m glad I never had to find out.
Armed with my trusty laptop (yes, I am obsessed with all kinds of technogadgets!), I immediately went to the web to investigate the parts of the wedding that were important to me. Before I get into all of that, I want to start my story with the end in mind: SANITY by the time your wedding day comes around!
Ladies, PLEASE, take a few bits of advice from someone who has done this before.
1. Decide which elements of your wedding are MOST IMPORTANT to you. Every single area cannot be; there is no way you will be able to manage each & every detail of your day. Trust me on this (and, yes, I am Superwoman ). You may want to…you may be a perfectionist…you may have dreamt of this day your entire life down to the very smallest detail. Throw all of that out the window and pick 3 or 4 areas you are personally going to spend the majority of your time on. You will thank me later.
2. Hire a wedding coordinator. I cannot stress a wedding coordinator enough. The benefit of a coordinator is that, not only will she be a lifesaver in the later stages of your planning, she has good relationships with many vendors, so you will work from a list of trusted professionals in your budget. When time is a precious commodity, it is tedious to interview multiple people; a coordinator will understand your “vision” and recommend one or two in various categories. As a single, working mom, I don’t have a lot of “free time” ; I trusted the people that were recommended to me and, if I liked them after one meeting, I didn’t look elsewhere. Bottom line: use your time wisely or you’ll use up ALL your time on your wedding planning.
3. Focus on booking, buying, or renting the BIG items first. Even if they are not your MOST IMPORTANT, they must be arranged, booked, confirmed, or deposits placed if you are going to have a wedding. These include, minimally, selecting a date, the venue for the ceremony, the officiant (if you are not being married in a church), the venue for the reception, the caterer, the music, the photographer, hotel blocks for out of town guests, and the florist. Your head will spin, because it all needs to happen pretty quickly to reserve your date for them all, but after that, you can slow down a bit if your wedding date is more than 6 to 9 months out.
4. Focus on the secondary items next. Choose a theme and pick “your colors”, decide if you want to wear white or ivory and look through magazines at dresses, think about events other than the wedding ceremony & reception (rehearsal dinner venue & guests, day-after brunch venue & guests, special events like cruises, etc.), choose your bridesmaids & maid/matron(s) of honor (especially if they have to travel), choose your invitations and/or calligrapher (I recommend Laura Hooper Calligraphy! ), and determine when you want to complete a registry.
5. Focus on each element, vendor, or area in priority order. Sometimes you can do some of the items at the same time, but try to focus down your list in order (and make notes for those you need to follow-up with or will get to later).
If you follow these few things, and you WILL get a lot of advice from people along the way, you will feel more in control as the day approaches (and it does quickly!).
Until next time…
“You sweet moon beam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream.
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided, who's one of my kind.
Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one-track mind like me.
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing I can't be.”