Adventures of a (Second Time) Bride-to-Be
February 22, 2011
I had finally found my wedding gown and made all the changes I wanted; it was going to be one-of-a-kind made expressly for me; I couldn’t have been happier. I had gone to that bridal salon alone and somewhat on an impulse, making that appointment only days before. I did not come armed with a slew of magazines or photographs, and I didn’t have specifics in mind other than what I did NOT want.
Some brides want to bring along moms or sisters or friends for their input, but I did that the first time I married. It was a very special time with my mom, who passed away nine years ago, that I will never forget or regret. It is something that many of us feel the need & desire to have: mom’s excitement about our wedding dress (and she was excited!). This time, though, it was an equally special experience that was all about me without any input but my own two eyes and a vision in my head. You will have to decide what works best for you, but I found that the solitude and the simplicity of it all made it better than any “ooohing” and “aaaahing” I could have had.
The beauty of being older (wiser?) is that you learn that so many pleasures can be had from simple experiences...one being that it was a rainy day when I went to the salon, but I walked back out with a big smile that lit up my eyes, as though the rain weren’t there & the sun was shining just for me.
I want you to know that, while these are my stories and experiences *I* have had (and still have yet to have, even though I’m working a bit in reverse right now), the real message I hope to convey over these weeks is that this is your wedding day and there is no magical recipe to follow: make it “YOURS”.
You will know what feels right and what doesn’t as you plan, choose, coordinate, and select. Do what you feel will make this day about you, your fiance’, and any other close family you may have (in our case, we both have children that I hope will feel part of a new, extraordinary “family” when our day is over). After your wedding day has passed, all the “things” have been paid for, the gifts unwrapped, and your dress heirloomed, you will have the beautiful memories of it both in photography and in your mind. Don’t forget, though, that you’ll also want to remember the breathtaking feeling you had the minute you saw your groom at the front of the aisle, waiting for you to join him at the other end and become a family.
If your cake wasn’t exactly what you wanted or the fuchsia wasn’t the right shade in your floral arrangements or the dinner wasn’t what it was supposed to be, it doesn’t matter. Remember what made it a day about you & your husband and hold onto that. Daily life will get in the way sometimes after your wedding is over; it is inevitable. Some people may have more “things” than do others...some are wealthy, others make ends meet...some live in big houses, others rent an apartment to be closer to the school their children go to...still yet, some have big titles, big jobs, and live the “high life”, while others live “simply” by choice or circumstance. The ONE thing that’s the same for everyone, though, is that LOVE...pure, magical love...is the “great equalizer” among all people. If you hold your love for each other in your hearts…the love you felt that day you became one...you will be richer in so many ways than you ever imagined.
In short, don’t lose sight of the marriage as you spend time planning the wedding… A wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime.
I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I love quotations & especially like finding ones that fit a situation. As I continue to plan my own wedding and focus on my future marriage & family, I find this one to be quite apropos:
You've got to really look after it and nurture it."
Until next time…